Main menu:

Subscribe
Search to Love
Sites to Love cafe-du-cyclist jot_ad jotmaps_ad loopvelo_ad ByteCulture Long Beach Cyclery RockMountain Institute


Stuff to Love

gY(m).{vo0}.D[oo].n.sUc(H)

yOu just can’t escape it; jack’d-out voodoo vapor shit you gotta be dodge’n all da’time in the peloTon cuz some dE-cOn-ziDeR’ants like the BuckWheat still don’t got any goddamn idea how to spit or blow snot which means you don’t be gett’n yo’self caught behind that mo-fo’s wheel cuz you gonna get sprayed with a cloud-heaven of germ-infested vapor’n-crap and everyone knows what ailments be coming-in all over you from dat kó-tamination.  sHiT!

As the hard-core cyclist you be caLlin yo’self,  you be going to d’GYmmy on an often OccAzion {uh-hUh}.  Now just consider, for 1 minute, all the [gonna-getz] voo-doo demiZes {plural demise n’stuff} you be under attacked from d’gym.

The voo-dooz demizes be coming in all forms at the local fitness jointz. i’M in the witness box for all kindz of paranoiaz.

You gotz them in all sORtz o’conKOc’zians:

  • hand-Santizer freak-a-ma-jigz
  • sweat hysTeRyistIcs  {“wIPe dat sweat oFF the bench mO’Fu#^.r”}
  • nAked in the loCkErOoM pAnics
  • bAll-sAcK sWeaT on the bench pandomonium
  • nAKed 400lbs N-d’screem’NentZ
  • sUpEr-iNCred’jebles ["yu gotta be some KiNdda eXhiBitionZist'Fag-0-Maux shOWing Yo-Shit like that"]
  • eXPoSed ScrOT sacks in the sauna means Yu’gEtt’N yo’butt-buTTr conTaMoNation all OveR dIs’pLAze
  • den’t Yo’MaMMa tell you DoN’T b’Scratch’N yo’Nåki-Arse-o-SpHEre-hole in Pub[L]ic
  • sIT’n on the ToyLet {bAreFoot} says yOu just can’t be respECt’n yourself much
  • you jez got oFF’da Crapper and whistled pAst the sINK you filthy Mo’Fo’Bastard {where the fU*#$ is my hAnD-SaniTaTion when i needz it}
  • fLEx’n fAT in the miRRor shows juz’HoW meSSeD you think you’Ain’t

It’s a endless circus.

Scratch yo’Balls Animaux!

Photo Credit: http://woldfitness.com/

Write a comment

You need to login to post comments!