gY(m).{vo0}.D[oo].n.sUc(H)
yOu just can’t escape it; jack’d-out voodoo vapor shit you gotta be dodge’n all da’time in the peloTon cuz some dE-cOn-ziDeR’ants like the BuckWheat still don’t got any goddamn idea how to spit or blow snot which means you don’t be gett’n yo’self caught behind that mo-fo’s wheel cuz you gonna get sprayed with a cloud-heaven of germ-infested vapor’n-crap and everyone knows what ailments be coming-in all over you from dat kó-tamination. sHiT!
As the hard-core cyclist you be caLlin yo’self, you be going to d’GYmmy on an often OccAzion {uh-hUh}. Now just consider, for 1 minute, all the [gonna-getz] voo-doo demiZes {plural demise n’stuff} you be under attacked from d’gym.
The voo-dooz demizes be coming in all forms at the local fitness jointz. i’M in the witness box for all kindz of paranoiaz.
You gotz them in all sORtz o’conKOc’zians:
- hand-Santizer freak-a-ma-jigz
- sweat hysTeRyistIcs {“wIPe dat sweat oFF the bench mO’Fu#^.r”}
- nAked in the loCkErOoM pAnics
- bAll-sAcK sWeaT on the bench pandomonium
- nAKed 400lbs N-d’screem’NentZ
- sUpEr-iNCred’jebles ["yu gotta be some KiNdda eXhiBitionZist'Fag-0-Maux shOWing Yo-Shit like that"]
- eXPoSed ScrOT sacks in the sauna means Yu’gEtt’N yo’butt-buTTr conTaMoNation all OveR dIs’pLAze
- den’t Yo’MaMMa tell you DoN’T b’Scratch’N yo’Nåki-Arse-o-SpHEre-hole in Pub[L]ic
- sIT’n on the ToyLet {bAreFoot} says yOu just can’t be respECt’n yourself much
- you jez got oFF’da Crapper and whistled pAst the sINK you filthy Mo’Fo’Bastard {where the fU*#$ is my hAnD-SaniTaTion when i needz it}
- fLEx’n fAT in the miRRor shows juz’HoW meSSeD you think you’Ain’t
It’s a endless circus.
Scratch yo’Balls Animaux!
Photo Credit: http://woldfitness.com/
Posted: February 2nd, 2012 under Features.
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