The training peloton is a bEaST and jacks-out its aggression through the power of raw speed and when the bEaST picks up momentum its sinewed muscles tense and its balance can get precarious. In a perfect jungle world the bEaST runs smooth{ly} but on the highway sometimes stuff gets in the way and sHiT happens; [...]

Siri, what’s a peloton? “A peloton is of group of men who enjoy doing hard physical activities together in very close proximity of each other, cavalierly blow bodily fluids on and at each other,  like to wear tightly fitted spandex shorts and shirts, are proud of their shaved legs, like to talk about their heart-rates [...]

Shit dAmN!  Palm Springs Century 2012: some kinda jack’d-over, jack’d-out ride with the wind blowing right up your sphincter contracted, puckered out, intrusion-hole. you were there. you know what i’m talking about. the wind came  from every direction, all over the place at the same time, simultaneously.  there was only one section, about 11 miles [...]

In the Peloton the Freddies come and go Talking of Molteni’s Angelo. It was brought to my attention this morning that Super D’White pulled thru more than I and by that measure has surpassed me.  Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse; perhaps it’s the beginning of a love song. LET us go then, [...]

Since recent posts have featured the ass, it’s only apropos that we celebrate one of the most jack’d-OuT bAd-aSS record inserts of all time – Queen’s “Bicycle Race” issued with “Fat Bottomed Girls” as a double A-side single in 1978. The album, Jazz, came with a poster of 65 naked girls on bicycles.  This has [...]

Anyone who rides the Peloton knows it’s all about the Politics. Looks like Romney’s attacking off the front.  Is he all fluff, does he have the motor, is he a disciple of  Rule-V ? Herman Cain’s looking to Rick Perry to close the gap.  Perry’s giving it his all; he knows this is probably his [...]

Lie to your girlfriend, lie to your wife, lie to to your brother or sister.  Lie to your mother, lie to your boss, lie to your co-workers.  When the truth is discovered, you feign empty emotions of contrition, act ignorant, make up excuses. You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you [...]

From where does the source of power to the pedal originate? The legs? The lungs? The heart? The soul? One’s character? Rule-V ? Well, it could easily come from any one of these sources, but I suggest, to surmise the potential in the power-volume of the canon-blast, simply consider the squareness of the ass.  That’s [...]

yOu just can’t escape it; jack’d-out voodoo vapor shit you gotta be dodge’n all da’time in the peloTon cuz some dE-cOn-ziDeR’ants like the BuckWheat still don’t got any goddamn idea how to spit or blow snot which means you don’t be gett’n yo’self caught behind that mo-fo’s wheel cuz you gonna get sprayed with a [...]

conversation tuesday morning, 6am @the pre-ride gathering, spirited around, uh-huh, that’s right, sQuAt{s}. and there was super-freddie {hegg}, in the pre-dawn dark, under the dull fluorescence of a gReen’D out energized bulb, casting a dim yellow light on the back porch, demo-ing perfect sQuAT form [ass jack-cocked out, back straight, head up, chin tilted forward] [...]