flat tire; no tubes, no air-juice, nada.   henry (mijo) and i rode our bikes to second street yesterday and he got a flat. no spare tubes, no air-junk; rien de rien.

like any reasonable human-bean, henry was ready to walk the bike home.  “no Mijo! no. just ride it. you can ride that thing on a flat.” [intro to rule-v]

got a tube at jones & back on the street, swapping it out, the young kid salesman comes over to bestow geek-praise on the gios; “cool ride dude! love vintage road frames.  {looking at henry} if you’re lucky, you’ll get to have that bike someday.”

henry has never thought twice about the “piece o’junk”  the ol’man uses for bev-mo city riding, but on the way home he actually asked (in all seriousness) “dad, am i gonna get to have that bike when you’re too old to move anymore?”  shit.

muy viejo animaux!

in the north east, weather is something that’s all jacked-out like a full tilt storm that sweeps the streets bare [except for rule-9 riders].

the velominati boys have a rule for every situation and rule-9 speaks specifically to your embarrassment.  last saturday’s non-ride was the first weekend-ride blown out due to rain (¿huh?).  you can hear the roar of grief that would spew over our pathetic weakness from the velominati crew.

southern california is defined by its lack of weather and monday provided the perfect opportunity to prove our worthiness under rule-9; 8 freddies showed up and demonstrated just how bad-ass we are, except for {you} [candy-ass'wipe] who cowered under the covers; you know who your are.  Not even one Full-Quasi Boy showed up to prove their worth.

Rule-9 :if you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass.  period. (velominati.com)

¡parapluie animaux!

Shit. What is it, January?

The sO.Cal race season seems to start earlier and earlier every year and doesn’t settle into the sunset til late September and beyond.  It’s telling; the sport ebbs and flows; participation in racing waxes and wanes;  Southern California is a barometer of the enthusiasm for all things cycling {given the obvious shit about the lack of jacked-up weather in this part of town}.

Enough digression.  Let’s get to the point.

Fast Friday is back. Why? Because the race season is upon us and personalities are forceful catalysts for speed. Get enough hot blood talent, testosterone from a tube, and you’ve got a recipe for delivering snot, spit & every other bodily fluid and excrement that’s excited and spewed by the simple prospect of putting it on the line, taking it to the limit of your individual ability to suffer so you can revel in the excitement of thin rubber on the road, braking, swerving, staying in contact, cajoling and reprimanding, experiencing the sensation of speed in close proximity, maintaining the choreography of the paceline, eating the pain in your lungs and legs, tasting the blood in your throat and making sure everyone else is suffering more than yourself.  What’s odd and sick is these are all sensations that seem normal and familiar. You’re fighting to keep it all together so you can pump up your own volume as you collectively drop everyone’s ass just to make the point that your superiority is more sublime.  Then you compliment everyone for their effort and praise their talent and they know you’re full of shit because they recognize their weakness is obvious since they’ve just exhibited a lack of integrity through their inability to suffer and their sense of being a pansy-ass overwhelms them. Maybe they feel a little embarrassed but they know the work they need to do to up their game and there’s a nagging desire to throw in the towel {now} because it’s a long season ahead and there’s been hardly any respite from last year and the new year has already started. Damn.

Ahhhhh. Fast Fridays. Better than ever.

Move it Animaux!

Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jowo/63770749/in/faves-lovely_bicycle/

When you live the life of a {Quasi} Bike Racer, you’re constantly training to maximize your potential for performance.  No one wants to get dropped and everyone wants to deliver a little bit of suffering; it’s what makes the day complete.  If you can’t give your friends grief you can’t give them anything at all.  You’ve got a responsibility and you have to deliver.

Weight Training: Consider the classic paradigm to building deep muscle strength; as workouts tear down muscle fiber it’s best to alternate muscle groups every other day so you’re not working the same muscles and there’s adequate time for recovery and healing. Following that model, 3 days of leg workouts per week fits the approach, however, it’s hard to recover from the first two workouts to face a 3rd day of cranked-out, ass to the matt, jack-heavy sQuats [Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday].

For the third workout, it’s good to follow the first two days of heavy sQUaTs with squat sprints; a light weight workout (135lbs) of explosive lifts from the squat position; a normal, controlled descent with a quick jump back to standing; 10 sets, 12 reps.

What’s it gonna do? Probably sQuAT.  But it makes you feel bad ass.  2 days builds strength; squat sprints build explosiveness.  Yea, you know that’s right.

Be Bad Ass Animuax!

photo credit: martinlogic [http://www.redbubble.com/people/martinilogic/works/2582853-the-porcelain-peloton]

looks like this rider might be one of the team domestiques coming off the back to fill the basket with energy supplies for the stars

on the other hand ^ if she was in the peloton {just for her amusement & entertain ^ ment}^ sand-bagging it^  someone whould hafta ride’r off da back . . .

remember march 1st is “ride yo ass off the back season *bitch*” so get with Rule-5

gotta love those fenders

the picture’s from ffffound.com ^ a cool photo collection site stumbled upon from jjjjound.com {¿look related}

PhoTo Animaux.

The Freddie Peloton is defined by the quasi bike-racer who lives without regard to the off-season♣. Traditionally, it’s the off-season that provides time for spiritual recovery, re-building core-fitness, working on specific weaknesses, developing deep muscle strength.  Everyday is performance season for the Quasi-Race Freddie [QRF] and rest just seems like an oxymoron, a contradiction to conviction and  slightly immoral.  During the height of the Quasi-Season everyone knows strength & fitness exercise get in the way of that high-performance-output required to jack-it-down and bring humiliation to anyone who tries to set the pace up the climb, challenges you in the sprint or dares to half-wheel you; every QRF knows it’s exactly the high-performance he’s tapping into {i.e., bringing it} each and every ride [every morning and weekends] that keeps the fitness well tuned {who needs the off-season}. Those off-season workouts get you too tapped-out to crush the upstarts {you know, when you gotta get out there to kill all those usurpers; they know who they are; they be trembling in your presence}.

Watch out! The guy in the video is getting off-season fit! And he’s gonna come out and Fu#* you Up.

♣ Training with total disregard to an “off-season” is a syndrome suffered by both the quasi and non-quasi bike racer.

Off-Season Termine(¿) Animaux!

Serving:32g	~4 figs	Honey	GU	PyGmy sCröTs (Dried Figs) vs. Honey.vs. GU(Goo)
Calories	80	97	100
Total Fat	0.3g	0g	0g
Sodium	3mg	1mg	55mg
Potassium	218mg	17mg	45mg
Total Carb	19.73g	26.37g	25g
Sugars	16.8g	26.3g	5g
Protein	1.06g	0g	0g
Vitamin C	.4mg	.2mg	~82mg
Vitamin E	.11mg	NA	14mg
Calcium	52mg	2mg	2mg
Magnesium	22mg	1mg	NA

Over coffee at the end of a weekday morning group ride, I blurted it out;  “A GU could be a good source of quick fuel when you’re just about to get jack-bonked out.”

Shit!!  I was just thinking about the previous Saturday ride; 80 miles, no rest, no balls, no legs, no mud and no depth; there I was, feeling the need for a quick jolt of juice, near the end, when the personal package of pygmy-scrots had long gone empty.  F*#k! Let myself get caught off guard and simply blurted out “A GU could help.”  {I didn’t really believe it. The idea just came spewing out. Shit.}

As I’ve heartily promoted whole foods vs. engineered foods, I was instantly attacked for what appeared to be a conviction contradiction {cc} (the blah-blog counts as conviction these days).

In a perfect world you’re continuously consuming fuel and water but sometimes you lose track in the heat of the pace when a bit’o-suffering starts to set in.   Then, before you know it; blamo, you’re finished and need something QUICK.  Well, GU’s not it.  Hell no!  Damn, there are so many other quick fixes.

Consider honey for a quick jolt.  Look at those numbers. 

You’z not gonna find much potassium in honey but there are plenty of other good sources for that junk.  For that matter, GU hardly has any potassium.  Keep a banana in your pocket.  Gotta get back to basics when it comes to fuel.  The convenience of the packaging is what gave GU and all those other gel packs their appeal.  I’ve not read one single piece of evidence that there’s really anything worthwhile in those pack-o’squirts except the convenience.   Gotta get some convenience packaging for honey.  {Convenience, humph!  Convenience is gonna kill us. Love convenience. But you can create your own.}

Potassium: Potassium and sodium are essential dietary minerals and electrolytes. The term electrolyte refers to a substance that dissociates into ions (charged particles) in solution, making it capable of conducting electricity. Normal body function depends on tight regulation of potassium concentrations both inside and outside of cells. For equilibrium between these two minerals, it is recommended to consume from two to five times as much potassium as sodium.

Potassium in other common foods: (Surprised?)

Consider Trader Joe Trail Mix too:

• Simply the Best Trek Mix: roasted salted cashews, roasted salted almonds, dried pineapple, cranberries & tart cherries.
• Omega Trek Mix: cranberries, roasted salted almonds, walnuts, roasted pepitas, roasted salted pecans, dry roasted salted pistachios.

Sources:

• Balch, Phyllis A. “Prescription for Nutritional Healing.” Fourth Edition (Penguin Books, 2006).
• Minton, Barbara. “Balance Sodium with Potassium for Good Health.” (Natural News.com, October, 2008).
• USDA Nutritional Data Base: Visit Entryworks.com’s Nutrition Resource

ohh Quel Blurts Animaux!