Christmas Fitness Challenge: Load an Olympic bar with half your body weight [50%] (including the weight of the barbell) and do 50 squats, nice and deep. According to the RAAM Freddie (see previous post) if you can do at least 50 reps, you’ve on your way to fit {he’s got other criteria too but it’s dull stuff; stretching, body fat, vo2 max}.

The Hessian took the challenge in full UTard style. Here’s what the Hessian had to say:

“To be honest, the last 10 of the 50 started to hurt. I did 3 sets of 20 to follow. And to make it interesting, I did this same set on the bench first. Did both sets (bench and squats) with 25′s on each side of the 45 lb bar. Probably could have done 65 maybe 70 squats, but with no spot I’m sure I would have racked it by 70. I was done at 50 on the bench.”

The Mexican jacked it down and broke it out clean: {bar + 45lbs: 2x (2×10+2.5)}

•1st set: 60 reps
•2nd set: 50 reps
•3rd set: 50 reps

Well? Who’s next?  Com’on. Let’s get going. Squat your Ass Off Fool.  Rule V!

Jack-iT doWn Animaux!

Ok girlie boyz, let’s see how you measure up in a simple fitness test.

It’s squat season so you should be in prime condition for this fitness challenge‡.

Put half your body weight on an Olympic bar (including the weight of the barbell).  With the bar on your shoulders,  behind your neck, legs shoulder-width apart, do as many squats are you can.

So, you call yourself a cyclist?   OK then, this should be easy.  {I’m doing it tomorrow.}

Are you in shape?  If you can do 50 reps, go ahead and glory in your fitness.

Didn’t do 25? {That’s squat & you”re weak: refer to Rule V}.  If you can’t do 10 {you’re jacked-up; Rule V ain’t gonna do squat for you & it’s time to find another sport {lawn bowling might be good}.

This fitness challenge is brought to you by Esquire Magazine, December 2011.

‡Developed by Mark Merchant†, co-owner of As One, a fitness center in New York.

†Mr. Merchant was a RAAM Fred [2010].

Muy Squat Animaux!

As shit-cool as natural fabrics be and their power to stir the monster of your visceral regard {huh?}, you can’t get around the jack-over practicality of esthetically well designed goods made from synthetics.

Sometimes synthetic materials just work too well to ignore.  Natural fabrics {wool, waxed cotton, canvas} helped conquer North America but synthetics took us to the moon (Alice).

Ortlieb makes some kick-ass, super waterproof, ergonomically well designed bags;  backpacks, messenger bags, panniers, duffle bags, . . . (etc.)

Ortlieb bags aren’t poser products; with your individual, personal and unique style, it’s your job to bring the grooviness to the bag, rather than the poser expectation of the bag bringing its grooviness to you.  I call this the GroovY-Reciprocity-Factor (GRF).

Get-on with your super-bad GRF and sling this bag over your shoulder to Bev-Mo and Trader-Joe’s and bring home the holiday cheer.

The medium Sling-It Shoulder Bag [$102.00 msrp] (pictured here) will easily carry 4 bottles of wine or a six pack of beer and two liter sized bottles.

I love this bag.  No dangly straps to distract you from the task at hand.  The non-slip shoulder pad holds the strap comfortably in place and comes with a stabilizer strap that keeps the bag well positioned across your back.  The medium bag is perfectly sized for a bag with a single strap.  When you use a larger bag you’ll find yourself stuff’n it full and too much weight on one shoulder is uncomfortable.  The larger Ortlieb single strap bag would benefit from a wider strap to help spread the pressure of the weight more uniformly across the shoulder.  If you plan on carrying heavy goods, consider a backpack style bag.  The key difference between a messenger bag and a backpack is the convenience of get’n stuff in and out of the messenger bag without having to take it completely off; unfasten the stabilizer strap and you can swing the bag around and easily open the Velcro secured flap.

The bags come in a variety of colors.

Other features I really like:
•2 zippered internal compartments
•2 big open inner pockets for easy access
•padded laptop pocket
•pen slots
•removable internal snap hook for keys

Visit BikeBagShop.com ($79.00) to review specs and other size options.

Tenga Moda Animaux!

Bicycle Racing African Style:  Hot Splinters of Glass; le tour d’Afrique and the images of the Giro d’Eritrea of 2009 by Dutch photographer Chris Keulen.

This book is about the bicycle racers and the event in the tiny country of  Eritrea , north of Ethiopia, near the horn of Africa.

By the contenance on each face in the portraits and the ruggedness of the conditions, it’s obvious these men have devoured Rule V.   I think it’s safe to assume that Rule V is a way of life in this country {or simply perish}.

According to Wikipedia, football and cycling are the most popular sports in Eritrea.

Economics: (Wikipedia)
•Per Capita: $720
•GDP: $3.6 billion
•U.S. : $14.58 trillion (2010)

This book can stimulate the conversation around the coffee table at your holiday festivus, so don’t hesitate to get your copy; you wanna make party talk vibrant and free of political tension.

See more photos and get a copy of the book before the Holiday Season fades away into the new year.

Click here to order your copy now.

AfriCân Vitesse AnimAux!

Recall the post about our Downtown L.A. Fashionista on Traction near the Wurstküche?

Well, Mr. Fashionista, your velo-style inspiration has been jacked wide open.  I stumbled upon his backpack through a link from the very groovy site;  JJJJound.com.

As Mr. JJJJound demonstrates the highest in esthetic regard, applying the associative property of style influence [ (a•b)•c = a•(b•c)]  we can conclude Mr. Fashionista has subscribed to a groove. Q.E.D.

The bags are created by Makr Carry Goods at http://makr.com.

The back pack is the Farm Ruck Sack ($160.00)

The shoulder bag is the Farm Messenger Bag ($195.00)

If you’re gonna get in some urban city riding and trade a few automobile miles for commuting miles [you know you better jack-up your annual total on two wheels for bragging rights], you gotta get geared up for the convenience and fashion of moving around town on two wheels {in style}.  Also, it’s essential that you have a bag to keep the Bev-Mo goods stored for the ride home.

Makr Carry Goods offers some very distinctive items.

Personally, I love canvas but would prefer nylon to leather straps.  The leather closure straps on the bags look too dangly and give the bags a sloppy appearance.  Leather works well in some applications but often seems a throwback to early design ideals when applied as straps to bags for carrying stuff while on the bike.  I love the size and shape of these bags but the leather ruins it for me here.

Muy Fashionista Animaux!

Two iconic tools from Campagnolo
•Tee-Wrench (8mm hex / 6 mm allen)
•Peanut Butter Wrench (15mm)

These are classics and belong in every velo-enthusiast’s tool box.

There are plenty of other tools that do the same job but they simply can’t match the fetish quality of a tool by Campagnolo.   These will stoke the fire in your love-furnace.  When you’re jacking your steed you’ll feel the campy-cosmic love  flow.

The T-Wrench was introduced in 1955 and doesn’t appear to be available any longer from Campagnolo {you can find them occasionally on eBay}.   Excel Sports lists the Peanut Butter wrench in their catalog for $38.00.   BikeJerk {blah-blog} reported that according to industry sources the Peanut Butter Wrench will be discontinued {I’ve not been able to verify that report}.

An interesting financial note that illustrates one of the differences between Shimano & Campy {bicycle.com}:

Shimano’s bicycle-division sales were $2.1 billion last year, Campagnolo’s around $150 million

Amen Animaux.

The next best thing to bike-porn is tool-porn [well ... maybe].

Is your tool fetish so pronounced that it lit the fire in your love-furnace for cycling?

You know what I’m talking about if you’re well acquainted with the song of the Tool-Porn Siren from your youth, i.e., you had the fantasy of becoming a mechanic just so you could buy Snap-On tools.

The Crank-Brothers produce tools that photograph well and hit the porn spot.  These multi-tools are almost as too-licious as Snap-On.

Look at those things.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

From top to bottom:
pica+ (includes 8 & 10mm hex) $70
pixl $60
19 $33
10 $20
5 $13

The pica, pixl, 19 & 10 have torx driver(s) (T10, T25). The pica+ & 19 have chain tools.

Does all of this make you feel little a tool-porny?

Go ahead and stuff that Xmas stocking!

Muy Too-licioso Animaux!

These gloves have special capacitive contactwoven® fingertips that allow you to control touchscreens.  Nearly all of the newest touchscreens use this capacitive voodoo [specifically Apple devices].

FYI: The other type of touchscreens are Resistive which are made of two micro thin metallic layers overlaid by a sheet of glass. When you touch the glass, the two underlying metallic layers are pressed together to register the touch. So, unlike capacitive touchscreens, they’re pressure sensitive and manipulated with any object; fingers, a stylus, a pen, your nose [uh-huh, forget about it ].  You can jack resistive touchscreens wearing any pair of gloves, however, to effect a capacitive screen use Etre’s FIVEPOINT Gloves.

Nose Pick: Optionally, you can you Etre’s  modified version of the standard old school cycling glove {fingerless}.

These gloves let you use your phone and pick your nose too [but not simultaneously].

Recently overheard the Tortuga expressing dismay over his new iPhone; he can’t text through the plastic prophylactic {baggie used to protect against sweat – that’s why I like the Lumis TS3 digital camera cuz it’s waterproof to 40 ft; don’t need no baggie}.

Visit the Website http://www.fivepointgloves.com/

Peut-être Animaux!