Freddie. We have lift-off.  The grand opening was a tremendous success.  Bixby Knolls has a great new bike shop with a proprietor everyone will appreciate: infamous like a notorious celebrity.

The Tortuga will remember if you missed the Grand Opening.  Like an elephant, the Tortuga don’t forgets.

Catered by Cronic Tacos with kegs o’beer and complete with a wild bronking bull.

Catch Videos of Tortuga, Evan, Tri-Chica and the almighty Clay, each taking a ride on the bull.  Apparently, riding a bike and riding the bull don’t equate.

Click to see each:
•Tortuga
•Evan
•Tri-Chica
•Clay

If you missed the opening, be sure to visit:
3756 Long Beach Blvd
Click for Map to Location

ecovelo.info is a cycling blah-blog that’s decided to call it quits.  I’ve followed their posts for the last 9 months to occasionally find worthwhile stuff  to share.  The last month, or so, their posts seem to have devolved into simple “commuter” profiles.

Their photos were absolutely impeccable; beautifully staged, perfectly illuminated, exquisitely framed but often wanting of the visceral quality that cycling and bicycles are all about.

Sometimes you just want your bike-porn to reveal the patina and pimples; revel in the rawness.  And sometimes it’s essential to present a bicycle that was conceived as a work of art in its original immaculate conception when it has been maintained to perfection; like a show car with historic significance or, for example, Uncle Howie’s Baylis {BlahBlah’s gotta showcase Uncle Howie’s collection}.

The EcoVelo site is a worthwhile visit.  You’ll find lots of great bikes in their gallery; like the orange Schwinn below (contributed by a reader).

Del Corazon Animaux!

Absolutely Priceless.  A Tour de France Candid Camera.  By the end I was laughing uproariously.

Enjoy Animaux!

The idea that you blow snot on yourself is unthinkable to the inconsiderate Freddie in the peloton.  Oh no! Those Freddies (Tri-Frieddas & other Chicas too) prefer to crane their necks far off to the side so when the juices blow, the poisonous snot goes wide and clear of themselves, all over everyone else riding in the draft of their voodoo vapor; sizzling on the eyeballs of the innocent; infecting everyone else with their voodoo virus and such.

Also, you’ll notice those same Freddies turn their heads far to the side and hawk a big wad of spit & slimy loogies straight out and then act surprised that it could fly back and spray someone in the face who happens to be in the spit-stream of their thoughtlessly ejected voodoo juices.

One has to constantly implore those Freddies to simply blow snot straight down or on the sleeve.  Yes, straight down all over your fine jersey, vest and shorts; wash the stuff when you get home after the ride, along with all the other road grim; heaven forbid you get your own spit and slim on yourself.  Everyone sees you picking your nose anyway.

And when you spit; spit straight down in that space defined between the extent of your elbow and leg; straight down at the ground, not out to the side where the flash back surely contaminates the unsuspecting.

Some Freddies will intentionally ride wide and clear of the peloton before they eject their juices so they don’t spoil their appearance or contaminate others. Although, when you’re on the rivet you don’t always have that luxury.

It’s always puzzling to witness the guilty act surprised when they’re reprimanded for their indiscretions.

Pas de Voodoo Vapor Animaux!

To build an app you need a simple concept and an audience.  I figure(s) the best audience to address, initially, is (I think you can guess and what better place to start?) el Mundial de Los Freddies.

I’m gonna get some base miles with an application that addresses everyone’s favorite topic during single speed season:  The Gear Inch Calculator {and other related metrics}.  There are plenty of gear inch calculators but it’s a simple application to break the app ice and the audience is well defined.  To get started we need a couple of simple equations by which all the other metrics can be derived.

Gear inches vs. Meters of Development and the case of 81

Gear inches is a system that assigns a measurement to gear ratios and is not the distance your bicycle moves forward with each complete pedal stroke.  The distance forward is referred to as Meters of Development.

Chain Ring / Cog Dynamic: If you have a chain ring and rear cog with the same number of teeth, one chain ring revolution will turn the wheel one complete revolution.  If the chain ring has twice the number of teeth, then one revolution of the pedals will turn the wheel two complete revolutions.

Gear Inches:   gear inches = dia • (t1/t2)

dia = diameter of the drive wheel (rear wheel)
t1 = no. of teeth on the chain ring
t2 = no. of teeth on the rear cog

Meters of Development:  md = cir • (t1/t2)  =  π • dia • (t1/t2)

cir = circumference of the drive wheel (rear wheel) {π • dia}
t1 = no. of teeth on the chain ring
t2 = no. of teeth on the rear cog

Still reading??  Wake-Up !!

81:  Typically, for 700c wheels (nominal* diameter=27inch), you get an 81 inch gear with a chain-ring/rear-cog ratio of 3 to 1:  81 = 27•(39/13) {39 tooth chain ring and a 13 tooth cog} or 48/16.

You can see the difference between a gear inch and meters of development is π (pi ~3.1415962 / circumference =  π • diameter).

It’s also apparent, by the equations,  that the concept of a “bigger gear” (relative to a specific chain-ring) is inversely proportional to the number of teeth on the rear cog.  When you hear Freddie say  “Put it in a bigger gear” you’ll understand it to mean; put the chain onto a smaller cog {or put it in the big chain ring}, i.e., put it into a gear that gives you more inches. More Inches = Bigger Gear.

*nominal: of, being, or relating to a designated or theoretical size that may vary from the actual : approximate

Visit Wikipedia if you’d like to read more about Gear Inches & Meters of Development.

Some very good web-based gear charts:
1) www.correal.net/gearcalc.htm
2) www.machars.net/bikecalc.htm

3.1415 Animaux!

Arts District Downtown L.A. on Traction Ave.

I saw him ride by.  All bright and shiny.

A few minutes later I wandered by the sidewalk bike rack outside the Wurstküche and there it was;  beautifully clean and well pressed;  a simple track frame, spotlessly painted {not a ding, scratch or scrape}, no decals, no head-badge and no pretension in the componentry.

Shiny. But no patina.

I found myself standing in front of the machine, taking a few pictures, sensing something was missing; a bike not yet possessed with a sense of self-confidence; a little naïve.

Perhaps it was the Brooks hand grips that gave me pause.  The grips are nicely engineered but new they’re obviously & overly concerned with themselves; self-conscious. {I squeezed one and it gave me a nice sensation}

Brooks is enjoying a new found popularity with the urban cycling fashionistas {just like Tony Bennet and the Next Gen-Crowds}.  This honey colored saddle is the B15 Swallow.  It’s a classically beautiful seat but I wish Brooks would make it without the tool pouch brackets.  It encourages owners to mount bags that dangle when strapped to the brackets and completely negates the elegance bestowed upon the bike by such an iconic saddle.

Now look at the bike’s profile; the seat just barely lower than the stem with very little seat tube exposed; it makes you feel all bunched up, almost constipated.  If I had had an allen wrench in my pocket I would’ve loosened the binder bolt and raised the saddle about an inch or more and lowered the stem.  And the nose just ever so slightly, almost imperceptibly, pointed up, just a little bit;  but enough that it gnaws on that part of the brain that governs discretion over l’elegânce de veló.

The bike shows promise of becoming a cherished tool with a distinctive grace characterized by the patina of use.  A tool that’s cared for but not overly pampered.

Then the owner re-appeared; a picture perfect example of urban cycle-chic with a brand new back-pack even shinier and more well pressed than his bike.

Even in one’s personal presentation there must be a slight flaw, a tiny contradiction; an incongruity of texture or finish but not in posture or composition; something old with something new.  As with our bikes we too must earn a patina of wear.

Fuerza Animaux!

OBJECTION!: street art OFF Traction Ave.

Mexican American family culture is dominated primarily by the matriarchal head of state {which may explain why machismo is so endemic}.

Her power is maintained through a fine balance of fear and love, the deliverance of which is well calculated for maximum impact.  Everyone trembles in her presence in nervous anticipation of a well deserved slap due to one’s momentary lapse of absolute respect or some indiscretion of which she’s become all too aware.

In a single gesture she simultaneously admonishes and lavishes her adoration upon you and you’re happy for both because one without the other is an incomplete love.

Uhhhmmmm?  Does this sound all too familiar as the love dynamic in your Freddie Peloton?  Every Velo-Joint has its Abuelita.

Happy Thanksgiving.  We have a lot for which to be grateful.

Love! Animaux.

Picture: the MexicanSongBird’s beloved abuelita.

The cogs in the media machine are churning.  Get ready for the LiMp’D* Opening of the new Tortuga Velo Joint Establishment: Long Beach Cyclery.

Press Release:
Mr. Brian Keate (a.k.a. Turtle, a.k.a. Tortuga; infamous like a notorious celebrity in the cycling community) is bringing his outrageous professional expertise and vision for bicycling retail and service to Bixby Knolls in Long Beach.

His new store is aptly named: Long Beach Cyclery.

Mr. Keate has owned and operated LaHabra Cyclery (La Habra, CA) for over ten years and saw an opportunity calling from the explosive excitement for all things bikes in the city of Long Beach; the place he has called home for over 12 years.

The Bixby Knolls business district is developing a bike friendly attitude and desperately needs a full service bicycle shop to fill the needs of its community.

“I encouraged Brian to open this new shop in the Bixby Knolls area to fill a need in the community. We love Brian.  He’s an insightful business man, a great bicycle enthusiast, an excellent bike mechanic and a champion bike racer (winner of 9 California State Championships),” says Martin Howard, President of Howard CDM, also located in Bixby Knolls. You’ll find Martin Howard riding down PCH in his LaHabra Cycling jersy and shorts; an avid member and ride leader of the La Habra Cycling Club. Howard says he is looking forward to the new store and new riding clothes proudly adorned with a name that reflects the community in which in works and lives.

Mr. Keate started out like a lot of kids, riding BMX; he fell in love with the world of bicycling and decided to make a living in the bicycle retail and service business. Brian says he loves every aspect  of the business because bicycles represent  adventure; young children learning to ride their first bike; young adults discovering the pleasures of a simple ride around town; people looking for alternative transportation for commuting or errands; sports minded enthusiasts who need top of the line professional bikes and components to achieve their potential.  Long Beach Cyclery will carry products that span the spectrum of cycling.

Opening Extravaganza: Saturday Dec 3, 11:00 am.
3756 Long Beach Blvd, just south of the corner of Long Beach Blvd and  Bixby Rd.

Break out the champagne!

*Soft Opening {according to the Tortuga}

Party Animaux!

A perspective: November in Copenhagen; Rule V in action.

And just think, it almost seems like winter in Southern California {we’re wimps}.

This cold front we’re having kept a chill in me all day long.  Damn.  Hope it warms up soon.

Hace Frio Animaux.

Photos: CycleChic